The guy who *really* likes spreadsheets. "I went on a four-hour (FOUR-HOUR) Tinder date with a match who proceeded to walk me through the intricacies of Excel. Every day he charted his Lonely people, broken hearts, false claims, dashed expectations, doctored photos, bailouts, and no-shows--it's all part of the online dating experience, and we unearthed a little of everything The True Horrors of Online Dating Conway Zhou. Conway Zhou is a year old male who is attending Darien High this fall. Besides writing, he also enjoys science, and admits that he · Tap to play GIF. Fox. 3. Submitted by Danica Maxwell (Facebook) I had an online dating app for exactly one day because the first person to message me sent me a long, AdReal Singles. No Games No Gimmicks! Meaningful Relationships Start Here. Start Living and Meet Amazing 40+ Men. Isn't it Time to Embrace Your Moment? ... read more
I looked at every girl that came in, hoping that it was the blonde-haired, green-eyed girl that would become my future wife. I fiddled with my ring as I wondered if her flight was cancelled, or if she was lost in the city. I was pondering to go search for her when my phone rang.
It was Jackie. She texted that she was going to arrive in a few minutes. My heart was ready to run a marathon. Finally, I was going to meet her in person, then hope she would marry me. I spotted an old, dark-haired lady with a crooked nose and broken brown eyes that I had never seen before. Was she a newcomer? I thought. I never saw someone so hideous. It struck me then that I never knew what her voice sounded like, nor did I see other pictures of her.
Oh, shit …. My heart flipped as the old woman spotted me. A really creepy and crooked smile appeared on her face as she walked towards me. Oh, no no no! You want to marry me? This is my first proposal. I hoped that when you learned what I was inside, you would love me no matter what. She stared at me. Her brown eyes made me sink into my chair, wishing that someone could just kill me. She snatched the ring from me and was about to put it on when I smacked it out of her hand.
I was scared to the core, but I was beginning to feel really angry. You made yourself seem younger so I would become your boyfriend. Jackie was speechless, her scary eyes staring at me. Come here and give me a kiss. Before she made contact with me, I swiftly leapt out of my chair and sprinted out the door of the bar, fear and anger fueling me to go faster. I heard her gag as she realized she had accidentally kissed my chair.
By now, people were giving us weird looks. Please, my love! A year later, I get a call from Alex, asking if he can travel cross-country to visit me, stay in my house, and meet my parents. Um, no? Which one is it? I was mortified, so I blocked them—it was the first thing I could think to do. I was a few beers and a couple hours in when I decided to call it a night. The guy judged me for yawning and put two more beers in front of me—then he guilt-tripped me for 'making him come out of his way to meet for such a short date.
That was his opening line. I'm sorry, but implying I'm a prostitute is going to get you nowhere. I thought that was super weird and didn't want to, but he kept asking so I finally told him. Then he made a big deal about telling me his, which was 50 points higher. OK, cool, whatever. He also told me that he got a soccer scholarship at the school where I work, but decided to go to a different college.
The next day I looked up his name in our database. DENIED with an SAT score waaaaay below what he'd told me! We were sitting at a table in the dining room, and I noticed a bunch of people perched around the bar, watching us. I was working at a research center for war and genocide at the time, and I guess enough people at the office thought I'd be super depressing, so they made an office pool, March Madness-style. I found out about it because I made some sort of inappropriate joke, and he followed up his laugh with, 'You're about to lose a bunch of people in my office a bunch of money.
Do you know anyone who's gone on a terrible online date? Please SHARE with family and friends to see if they can add to this list! Thumbnail source: YouTube. She only wanted to communicate through email or the dating site, which I thought was odd but just went with it.
Every bush movement and twig snap I was sure was him. Spent a few long hours filling out their personality assessment stuff, trying to be as honest as possible. She's smart, pretty, and they share mutual interests. Eventually he asked if I'd like to see his flat and I said yes. I arrived on the date, all happy, but realized that the girl who sat was a year old lady with two children and was just finding an excuse to leave her house.
She is attractive, fun. Lots of things in common. During the date she keeps checking her phone and acts annoyed by someone. Finally she apologizes for it and tells me about some creepo stalker dude that wont leave her alone.
And I guess to prove it she calls him and kinda loudly says 'stop contacting me or I will call the police! Then outside before she gets in her car she goes in for a long passionate kiss. Then says 'Call me' and winks! No answer.
Proof that OkCupid isn't always OK. I went for a drink with a guy I had been chatting with online. He seemed pretty normal good job, intelligent, funny. His first question on sitting down with our drinks was whether I was up for anal. I bypassed and watched him drink his body weight in shots before he started crying about his ex-girlfriend and then threw up down my shoulder when I was trying to walk him home.
This was around 18 months ago, and he still messages me from time to time with a "hey," or my favourite, "I miss you. Met a guy who seemed to be decent. We went to see a movie, and he kept talking about my feet — how "beautiful and sexy" he thought they were.
I was like, "Thanks? I said, "Definitely not. I accidentally kicked him in the face. I was so shocked! I excused myself to go to the restroom and just walked straight out the door and left him in the theater. I had an online dating app for exactly one day because the first person to message me sent me a long, detailed, emotional message asking for permission to masturbate onto my socks. I met a guy on OkCupid, and we hit it off pretty well. After we hung out a few times, he came over to my place with a bottle of wine and a movie.
He wasn't supposed to stay the night, but he lived 45 minutes away, it had snowed earlier, and I lived in a very rural area with a lot of hills and curves. So he decided he was going to stay that night instead of driving home. This only irritated me because he didn't really ask, he just decided. But the best part of the night was right before I went to bed he was staying on the couch : He asked me if I should change my pad.
I looked at him quizzically, and he said, "You need to change your pad before you go to bed — you could get TSS [toxic shock syndrome]. His argument was that he was an EMT and has a sister, so he "knows all about these things.
Needless to say, he went home the next morning, and I've neither talked to or seen him since. I once received a message from a man asking if I would give him a rim job , because I looked like the type of girl who does that. I went out with a guy from MeetMe. Things were going really well, and he eventually almost moved in with me and my family. Then I caught him looking down my year-old daughter's shirt. I broke up with him and didn't blink twice. Recently found out he is awaiting a hearing for a sexual attack on a child under I dodged a bullet and will never trust dating online again.
I met a guy on Plenty of Fish. We began messaging, and he seemed like a nice person, so we exchanged numbers. After a few days of talking on WhatsApp, our conversation fizzled out, and we stopped talking. A couple of weeks later, totally out of the blue, he sent me a picture of a random woman's boobs.
Confused by this, I just sent back a question mark, and he then said, "Send more. He then said, "Send me more or I'll send that picture of the boobs to everyone you know! He then started reeling off names of people I'm friends with on Facebook, even though I hadn't told him my last name and we weren't Facebook friends!
I was incredibly freaked out and threatened to call the police, which scared him off. I blocked his number and set all my Facebook settings to private, and I've not been on POF or anything similar since. This guy sent me this message on Tinder: "pizza and anal?
I was once talking to this guy online and after a few hours of nice, PG conversation, he did a complete He asked where I worked because I looked familiar He said I looked like a girl from an amateur porn video.
I knew that was not possible. He then asked if he could jerk off while we continued our normal conversation. After he tricked me into continuing the conversion for a few more minutes, I told him good-bye. Then he barraged me with dozens of lengthy messages asking to help him orgasm by telling him what he was doing was normal. Apparently he had issues with disapproval and couldn't finish without me telling him the simple letters "OK.
I had been chatting with a guy on Yahoo Singles for a while, and we got along fairly well. When he asked me out to dinner I figured, sure, why not?
It was singularly the most awkward and uncomfortable evening I have ever spent on a date. We spent our time attempting to make disjointed conversation At the end of the evening we just simply said good night, and I figured that was the end of it. Approximately six months later, I received a message from his Yahoo account that roughly said the following: "Hi!
This is X's brother. This is going to sound really odd, but X is in prison for a few months a big misunderstanding! and I know he'd really like to hear from you. His address is through the ABC Correctional facility. Please write him!
No joke. Apparently he was a foreigner and wanted to become an American citizen. He couldn't comprehend why I declined. He said, "Other people would do it for half the money!
Met a guy online, and we hit it off on our first date. A couple weeks later we had gone on four dates, and he knew where I lived. That's when it started getting weird. He wouldn't return my phone calls, so after a week I stopped trying. Not long after, I glanced out the window of my house and saw him parked a couple houses down with another person in the car.
I waited to see what he would do, and he drove off an hour later. A couple days later, he was back, except parked in a different location.
I started to get freaked out. There was also a second person in the car that time. They left two hours later. The third time I saw his car outside, I was poised to call the cops. I didn't get a chance because there was a knock on the door. I opened it to a very pregnant girl on my front steps. She began to rant: How could I date a guy with a girlfriend, did I not have any morals, who did I think I was trying to steal her man, etc. I let her go on for a while before I interrupted her, told her I had no idea, and I asked why she was mad at me since I wasn't the one cheating on her.
I found out that she forced him to drive to my house and sit outside nine different times. She wanted to see what I looked like and have him confront me and break it off , but he wouldn't go up to my door. I wish them all the best. My first experience with dating after my divorce, I met a guy who ended up being a sexual predator who "forgot" to put himself on the sex offender registry.
He tried to get me to send him naked pics of my daughter, under the guise of being a nudist. I would be kicking myself if I didn't ask, so I was wondering if you would accept an engagement of witty banter between two intellectuals. Of course this "engagement" may start off as purely platonic, but my sensual desires will most likely guide our cohesive unity down more erotic, lascivious, and sexual paths that will include, but are not limited to, passionate make out sessions under the starlit sky, dry humping, fondling each other's naughty parts, and an abundance of new, uncharted sexual positions where I assert my pure dominance in establishing a realm of absolute sovereignty in your nether regions.
Is this something you would be interested in pursuing? Buzz · Posted on Oct 13, by Spencer Althouse BuzzFeed Staff. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF. Share This Article Facebook. BuzzFeed Daily Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter! Email Address Sign up.
AdReal Singles. No Games No Gimmicks! Meaningful Relationships Start Here. Start Living and Meet Amazing 40+ Men. Isn't it Time to Embrace Your Moment? The True Horrors of Online Dating Conway Zhou. Conway Zhou is a year old male who is attending Darien High this fall. Besides writing, he also enjoys science, and admits that he · Tap to play GIF. Fox. 3. Submitted by Danica Maxwell (Facebook) I had an online dating app for exactly one day because the first person to message me sent me a long, The guy who *really* likes spreadsheets. "I went on a four-hour (FOUR-HOUR) Tinder date with a match who proceeded to walk me through the intricacies of Excel. Every day he charted his Lonely people, broken hearts, false claims, dashed expectations, doctored photos, bailouts, and no-shows--it's all part of the online dating experience, and we unearthed a little of everything ... read more
Then he cancelled out on date 2. Which one is it? Leaving my coffee and magazine, and barely taking time to snatch up my purse, I put my cell phone to my ear like I had just received an emergency call and literally hauled ass down the street to my car before he came back out. Dating apps: Can't live with them, can't live without them. By PCWorld. I was once talking to this guy online and after a few hours of nice, PG conversation, he did a complete Go see for yourself.Share This Article Facebook. A few weeks in, he horrors of online dating me I was almost perfect, except my upper arms were fat. For the first time, I wondered if there truly was someone that is a perfect match for me. and I know he'd really like to hear from you. Want to report this publisher's content as misinformation? But not every date turns out like an eHarmony ad. That was his first mistake.